10 years after...

I feel so old coz that's how long ago I graduated from college!!!!! AAARRRGHHH!!! But actually I was back in the States 8 years ago when I came for training in Chicago while I was with H. Now, with new company Philadelphia is where they're based at. I've never been to Philly, so it's nice.

Wish I had more time though, but because of on-going project I can't stay for long...just staying for 5 days before heading home. Also, I can't bear to be apart from Ash and the boys for any longer than that. I miss them...especially the tucking kids into bed part :-(. But will definitely get to spend quality time with Ms. Ketchup who is flying up from Bermuda and staying with me, and with Amai who has pretty much planned both our stay here. My time outside the training has been well taken care of!

If Ash and I ever plan to bring the kids over here it has to be within the next 5 yrs or so because I don't think my body can take the looooonnng (30+hours) journey and with small kids in tow! I really feel old, man! And this trip shouldn't have been so bad because I was travelling business...so the thot of going economy and with kids...damn scary!!

Immigration wasn't so bad. They were nice and friendly. But me and my luggage had to be disinfected before I could board the plane to Philly. Or at least it felt like I was being disinfected because I had to go thru this machine called Sentinel (so sci-fi) which sprayed me with some stuff, then my shoes along with my hand luggage went into the x-ray machine. Mind you I was a pro by this time because I went thru the same thing before I boarded the plane to US in Doha, except for the Sentinel part. After x-ray...they basically swab all my bags...that's why I said DISINFECTED! I guess they want to doubly sure that I wasn't a terrorist who had GSR (CSI buff u shud know this) because the whole process looks like a scene from CSI.

But you know after having to go so many levels of check and disinfection, the thing that is very glaring to me is the number of foreigners I see working in the airport! Which to me is very ironic given how strict they are with people coming into their country.

So, now I am thinking of walking over to that shopping mall I see below (the dome is a mall), and also checking out whether I can walk to place where my training is to be held at.

Tired la

Nowadays each morning I wake up I just feel exhausted...may be I need some vitamins and CQ10, or at least that's what IggyS will tell me. I've been quite good actually coz I am taking vitamins, but still feeling exhausted!

I've been at my new work place for about a month now. Interesting la I suppose. Different culture from both H & B. Getting used to it slowly. Trying to see my footing...I think people have stopped assessing me. I hate being the new kid on the block...it's like there is this spotlight on you, and people are just seeing whether you are everything that you are cracked up to be. May be it's just in my....somehow I don't think so coz this is an office full of women...so you know how that's like :-p

Plus the house is moving kinda full-speed ahead. I can't believe how much money I've already spent, and how much more we're suppose to spend...and this was not suppose to be a full blown renovation...sigh! Wish I could actually put pictures up of the progress, but read the title of this blog...and might I add lazy to it too!

Hopefully 2008 will have a better start...2007 is kinda ending with a bleghh...

Throwing in the towel

Sorry...siaran tergendala sikit...ms. ketchup started facebook so have been stuck there trying to figure out what's up with the damn vampires, zombies, werewolves, etc. Pening siut!!

Plus the work has been distracting me quite a bit. I was kinda in a limbo in the last couple of weeks...trying to figure stuff out. So, finally made a decision to throw in my towel. I know I am going to disappoint so many people that were counting on me, and I will have to live down the "stigma", and be called all sorts of names for what I am gonna do, but like I said I can't go back.

I think those who really know me will know how hard this decision is...to disappoint my team. But I also hope they know that this decision, though not easy, is really the best for me at this point in time. The opportunity to learn and actually build a specialization can't be denied. I will need to be a little more selfish, and do this for myself.

And those who don't know me...well I can't change their opinion. So they can pretty much ___ off :-)...ooops sorri bulan puasa...after this they can ___ off.

In a very weird place

"Try as we might. Happy as we were. We can't go back."

I love that line! I can so relate to it! I think most of us can so relate to it because we all have that happy place we always go to when we want to escape things. Or when girlfriends get together we will bring us back to that happy place just for a moment where you remember exactly how you feel,and you remember even the tiniest detail, like how the air smelled and felt...ok may be a little melodramatic there, but you know what I mean. Ash always laugh at me when I get together with my girlfriends coz he always ask don't we have anything else to talk about except the past? But I suppose for me, can't say for the girls, those time spent with them in UMICH was one of the happiest moment in my life. But I am sure if or when I go back now, things will not be the same. Our lives have changed...some of us have gotten the freedom we've been fighting for, and starting afresh again with so many possibilities, and some of us are figuring out where our lives are heading now...we've come to a juncture.

My last few blogs have been very superficial, even for my taste. I've only been sharing one aspect of my life that is still normal and moving along as best as expected. The rest of me have kinda been hiding and getting lost wherever I am because I dread facing what I need to do. I know my next step is the best for me, but it will be so hard because I know I so will disappoint the people I've come to like and care for. So, I've been "escaping" into that little place where I forget about me because I am happy there, but I know I still need to do what I have to do, and I am scared to death to disappoint. But I know I have to because I can't go back.

Self Validation

You are 87% Bittch!

Wow! Your nothing but a big bad Bittch! How cruel can you be? Bittch!! Wonder what your mommy did to you growing up! She must not of shown you enough loving! Your a nothing but a total Bittch! There is not one decent bone in your body!

How much of a B*tch Are you?
Create MySpace Quizzes

My sisters Ms. Ketchup, Dr. Iggy, Lara - care to show your true colors? Do share in our glory as Queen Bitches.

Mr. Darcy, Again!

A favorite memory of mine (thanks for reminding me Zackie)! If you want to talk about crushes, or a man that can make my stomach turn topsy turvy, and have a silly grin on my face, it would have to be Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy. Those who are familiar with Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice (P2) would definitely agree with me!

So, anyways I was first introduced to Darcy during one of my summer vacation back to KL, in the mid-90s. I remember Ntv7 just came on air, and they were showing this obscure BBC mini-series (big hit in the UK mind you!). I missed the first episode, but after accidentally catching the subsequent episodes, I was utterly, desperately in love with Mr. Darcy. It didn't help that Colin Firth was just brilliant as Darcy - the pining looks that he gave Lizzie...just made me wanna tear at him!

Back to that happy memory, it was the last summer after graduation, and me and my girls, sans ms.ketchup (who was shacked up with guy she's been wanting to dump for the longest time...HAHAHAHA!), subleted this gorgeous house in central campus - I think it was blue.

We had very interesting times with a couple of bottles of vodka left by the earlier tenants (surprise, surprise???) and Kamel (not the Camel you see here or the animal, but it was a sweet tasting/cinnamony type of ciggy), and of course Mr. Darcy. We rented the set from the local A2 library, and we all just swooned over Darcy, but also the love story between Darcy and Lizzie. I so respect Jane Austen, if you saw the series and read the book, you can get the sexual tension and desperation without any sexual content! You just completely rely on your imagination...how cool is that??

I digress, but what I am trying to get at is that I loved that summer for many reasons, and one them was that blue house with the girls. I can still remember it clearly, my room wic was near the kitchen, the huge basement room vi and bagel had, and of coz zackie and amai in the cozy room. L was also with us - we gave her the biggest room! Also, the swing in the back where we spent lazy, warm afternoons talking about our lives and never realizing this is where we were heading to.

I miss those times so much. Don't get me wrong, I love my life now, ok la not 100% of the time, but I am cool with where I am at. But I just miss how my life was so simple back them, with little expectations, but still hopeful. I really don't think any of us are any different from those girls in their early 20s, because I think when we all get together we realize we don't feel any different. But we have now just evolved into women in their early 30s contemplating their next stage in life, and with lotsa baggage. Some of us are married with kids, or just married and thinking may be kids, and some are going through/went through rough patches and just now trying to re-figure out our lives, and what's next for us.

So, last night as I was watching P2 again, those memories and feelings came rushing back. Me the clueless (somethings never change, kan?) girl, with that silly grin on her face, dreaming of Darcy. I love my happy thoughts, sigh...

Something on my mind

Just needed to get this off my mind before I start work...yea right! Like I ever start doing work, kan?

Anyways, my MIL's maid ran away last Thursday night, and it just so happened that me and family were staying over then. So, when we found out (at least me and the kids, the rest knew that night itself) in the morning, Izz was quite upset about the maid running away. Not that he was especially close to her, but he was just confused coz he was hearing the discussion about her running away and stealing stuff from the house. Just before this the driver also quit over night, but not before stealing stuff as well. So, being 5, how do I explain to him why people do bad things?

Like this morning he asked me when Kak Ida (the runaway maid) is coming back, and I had to explain that when people ran away they don't come back coz they did something bad. I also had to explain why these people, who were close to us, stole stuff. Sigh...so very the difficult. When he watches CSI, etc. (yes I do let him watch CSI, but with certain reasons and logic wic I shall not explore...suffice to say he is well-balanced with Disney and AXN), I can easilly explain what happens and at the end of the day it's just acting. But when it's real life, and it's closer to home, how do I explain?

But it's interesting to see how a child's mind work, and whatever we do explain do sink it as I can see him relate it to different scenarios, or I hear him telling it like a story to other people. And he is not "judging", he just accepts the explanation. Let's hope our maid continues to do the good job she is doing (I am very well behaved with this maid - no yelling/scolding, etc.), and she doesn't disappoint him like these other people have.

BTW - I've been tagged by Lara. But will get to that later as I need to empty my bag...:p. Woo hoo more excuses not to do work!

Confessions of a Psycho-Mom

I have a guilty conscience to clear...I need to be a much more patient and better parent! My eldest boy is becoming soooo difficult to handle...fussy eater, tunes me out (wic I deserve I think), and is driving me up the wall, and he IS 5!!!

I know I need to be more patient and find better ways of reaching out to him as opposed to always picking on him and yelling at him...but my patience is 0 to none!

In my prayers I do ask God to make me more patient and a better mom, and to have the strength and capability to guide my children well. I just don't want to drive them away. When I get into my psycho-mom mode, it's almost like an out-of-body experience and I hate seeing what I am doing. And when I realize what I am doing I would stop, and I think my kid gets so confused seeing his mom all weird-out!

But sometimes it's just so hard to stop myself...I dunno as I am getting older I becoming a person that I don't recognize anymore...I am so anal, and nit picky, and I hate myself for being this way.

I need to learn how to stop before I become someone I don't know or even like anymore. What does this say of me as a mom, and a Muslim? I so hope that self realization is the path of becoming a better person, if not I am so fucked! And worse my kids will be so screwed!

I am like an onion...

...or so I'd like to think. I have so many layers to me...macam la aku ni deep sangat kan? Bottom line I like money and waiting my time to be a tai-tai and be able to buy all the TODS I want...sigh...

Anyways, because si cibai pompuan suka ketchup tu...I have to peel my layers. So, since I need to be productive at work (mampus aku kalu org bank tau ni)...I shall spend the next couple of minutes, or rest of the day if need be, to find the 6 things that makes me "stand-out" from the regular janes/joes...

But before I begin here is the ruling - "People who are tagged should write a blog post of 6 weird things about them as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says ‘you are tagged’ in their comments and tell them to read your blog."

So here goes...my wall of weird..

1. I've been told I am surrounded by the "Male Yang" which explains a lot of my behaviors especially when it comes to sex. Forget the candle light romantic crap...that don't do much for me...like the guys I just want to get it on so that I can then sleep/wac tv/read my book...you can also not bother with the spooning/cuddling after sex...you're just crowding my space...so how's this for an Intro?

2. I have debates with myself...some people just talk to themselves, but I literally have conversations with myself...multiple conversations, with answers, rationale, what-may-have you...there are multiple people with their own screwed up perspectives living in my head.

3. Like Ms. Ketchup, I am fascinated by shit. So, ya I oso do that shit-checking...I do that for my kids, so I should do that for myself too la kan? But I am oso fascinated with nose-shit...boogers. Don't you just love picking your nose...come on I know you doo...so don't become hoity-toity with me...remember as a kid we would dig, dig, get a really loong and squishy one and gentil into a ball and lekat somewhere...HAHAHAHA...just love those moments!

4. I like to push people's buttons...even my kids. If they don't do what I want them to do (like feeding times) I will have a stand-off with them till they cry, and it will be a mind-game as to who will be left standing...Pyscho mom from hell...but then the nice mom will come out and pacify the kids...ala Jessica/Nikki?!

5. Checking out women+men...I like them both. I always do the once over, and for both gender, my focus will always be on the asses...(unless their racks and packets look too good to miss out) so going up escalators you know where my eyes will be focused...and I love getting into a debate with hubby about folks we are checking out.

6. Mind masturbation...I so love to have discussions, most of the time with myself, about things. I will try to pick at whatever the topic is, to death or till I get a freaking migraine. Like I said layers to be pealed. If I have company that'll do, but if not I can play all by myself...

So, have I said enough? Now the rest of you folks need to come down with me...those of yous who have a blog you will need to share 6 weird things about you on your blog...the rest can do it on my space or wherever you want to do it!

Maria
Sue
Lara
Rajes (I know you read so now you better write)
Fara
Amy (now you've got a good excuse to start/share your blog with us)

Start cracking...you ain't leaving me alone and exposed!

What I have on my nightstand...

I think most folks have started reading this!! I am enjoying every single page because I feel like the writer is talking about the stuff that my friends and I always talk about, and what is actually going through my mind!! I am laughing so much, and most of time I am thinking...spot on!!

She talks about the dichotomy of being Muslims which I so can relate to coz I've always wondered about myself...a Malay, Muslim, Woman, Mother...who wears a Hijab, and for those who know me will say I so don't fit the bill of the typical hijab clad muslim malay woman...but from the book you will see no one is really what they appear to be...so many layers we have. Oooohhh....mind masturbation...

Side note...I've been tagged so now I have to sit and think of 6 weird things about me...so wac out I'll be tagging some yous out there...I am not going down alone!!! We need to peel our layers (I have Dr Phil in my head and hearing him say that...try it!).

It's that Time Again!

Yea...macam la I go through this career reflection every year! I am just now looking to explore where do I go from now on. My friend who did my Pat Chi reading said my money only coming in when I am 51!!

I can't be waiting that lonng!! I don't want to be working for the next 30 years...die la like that!! I am just hoping that Ash's money come in before that :-P

Anyway, I am 5 mths into my new job...contract up in another 7 mths or so. I have to really think hard whether I will/want to continue here, or actually go into something else...like academia. I've been toying around with that idea for awhile now especially when I went into this job of mine. I mean my kids are growing up, and I do want to be more involved in their lives and education. Nowadays by the time I come back I am dead tired that I don't even bother much. I am hoping by going into academics I can have more of a balance...like always I am not looking for a career..just something enough to give me spending money and bidding my time when I don't have to work anymore!! But I must also like what I doing...and I do find some sort of fulfillment when I am "teaching" - I really enjoy my time running workshops and orientation.

So, will see if I will be successful in this foray...I just hope I don't have to adjust my spending limit too much :-P

Don't you just love these things?

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Insights into me? May be...you are the better judge. Do you think it's me? Tell me la. Then you can try it for yourself.

Vegging Out the Holidays

I've been holiday since Friday afternoon. We are having one of our last few long public holidays for 2007. After this there will be blackout of public holidays till May coz most of the day offs will fall on a Saturday, and we don't work on Saturdays. What also sucks is that these Saturday public holidays will not be captured in our annual leave nor will we get replacement leave. But I guess I shouln't complain coz I do get 26 days a year of annual leave which is much higher than normal, and if we include more replacement leaves there will be no way for me to use up all the leave.

So what do we do during these days? Pretty much vegging out at home in front of the TV especially when Izz has been sick for the last couple of days. If not vegging in front of the TV, we are out at the shopping malls spending money. Actually when we think about it there really isn't much outdoor stuff we can do in KL. There are the parks we can visit I suppose, but only if you want to weather the weather. Like when we went to the birdpark...I have never walked so much, and because of the trees the humidity was just crazy...I was completely drenched! There is no beach in KL. The nearest is PD, which pretty much is a sorry excuse for a beach. It probably is much better than before, but still very far from the pristine beaches of the East Coast states.

It takes a lot more effort to do the "natural" stuff here in KL, effort which Ash and I are too damn lazy to take. Plus we are so not the nature people - can't ever imagine taking a hike in the jungle or going to the waterfalls. Which leaves me with the wonderful world of ASTRO where I can take advantage of the Discovery and NGEO...so I guess there will be benefits of vegging out in front of TV. Who says TV is bad for you?!

Family Time

We actually had family time doing the touristy stuff - we went to the bird park and Aquaria! You know since we had kids, our lives have become less of "us/me." I know my Ashran always tries to ask me to focus on "us/me" but it is difficult. I am always feeling guilty or torn. I don't spend enough time with my kids, and when I do have the time they will always come first, Ashran second and me last.

This quality time crap really sucks! By having that concept it has just taken out aspects of "us/me-time". You only have a finite number of hours in a day, days in a week, weeks in year...and next thing you know kids have grown up, people have moved on, and then you'll wonder where you are at!?

I have to say that I am very lucky because I have strong family support where the kids will get attention from their aunties, uncles and grandparents...but it still doesn't alleviate my guilt, and what's worse now I have to compete with these folks for the attention from my kids. Talk about being confused - you are appreciative but you are also resentful!

There has to be a better way of being able to manage this thing of being a mom, career person and wife! I can't always be trying to squeeze some of "me/our-time" when I do stuff with my kids. I guess at the end of the day, you just have to make the hard decisions that you need to split yourselves, and make certain sacrifices because you have chosen this life and this path. I guess I just have to have faith and persevere that there is a bigger plan for me, and my path is not ending here.

Seriously!?

I just came off a weekend of doing a Grey's Anatomy marathon! I pretty much have been sleeping around 3AM since last Thursday...coz being a Mommy I can't start watching GA until past 10PM. Considering I had a lot to catch up...hence the late nights.

I always wondered why I go into these fanatical mode, where I get completely wrapped up in a TV show! You wonder right - how a show about a bunch of horny doctors can just take over your precious sleep-time (remember 2 babies...I have not know sleep pretty much for the last 5 years!). The last time I was this obsessed was with The X-files.

I guess it is just the escapism that these shows allows me to have. I have to say that I can so relate to the things that Meredith, et. al. talk about and how their lives just unravel through their interactions with the patients and each other. What I find completely amazing, not just with GA but other shows as well, are how the scriptwriters can just write something that fully involves the audience, and completely drag them into this fictional world, and yet it feels so real!

I think at one point in our lives we have lived our lives vicariously through others...and these TV shows gives us an "out" from our own lives, and for at least that hour we see our lives unravel through Christina's bitterness, Meredith's blunders, Izzy's annoying habit of over emotionalizing everything, and George being George. I guess it kind reminds us that we are not alone, and that somewhere out there some people actually do get us.

Well, it probably will be another sleepless night for me tonight...screw work!

Jodoh, oh Jodoh!

My dear Ketchupmissy brought up an interesting thing when she shared her "Moo Theory." This thing has been in my head for awhile now, and guess what, it is now a pet-peeve of mine!

Why is that whenever there is a case with infidelity (both men and women - I don't want to be blamed to be sexist, but to be honest when you look who cheats more often...well tanya diri sendiri la ok). Anyways, back to my point, when suddenly your man wants to take on a 2nd wife...it is so easy for them to cry JODOH??!! When in fact in the past whenever things fail or go well they never give credit to fate, to God's will, etc. I dunno, I just feel that Jodoh has become an easy way out for people to justify their infidelities.

And when they go down this JODOH path, they take this holier than thou or humble attitude of "how can I fight against the will of Allah?"...so easy to say...it pisses the hell out of me! To me it's just downright pure crap!

I do believe in jodoh, but I also believe that Allah tests people in the ways that they don't expect, and He expects you to prove yourself, and fight for what is right, and go to Him for guidance and support. To me if you suddenly have the temptation to stray, you need to evaluate why you need to stray, what you will potentially lose, who you will hurt, and you then decide what your next step will be...if you decide you don't want to do it, you work hard, you pray hard that Allah strengthen your existing relationship. Do whatever it takes...

I hate it that someone who never thinks of Allah in the past, but when it comes to taking the 2nd-4th wives, suddenly they remember about Allah and religion. I can just see it when DK was talking about his marriage to Siti...nak muntah darah aku! But this tirade is not against him personally, but it is against all those cheating husbands religious or not!

At the end of the day, God does not dictate what you do...that's why He gave us a brain to think what is right, and what is not - so don't we owe it to Him to use it? Duh!

We need to take accountability for our actions, and not just keep passing the buck, and making religion the scapegoat for our own weaknesses and faults.

Best Friends

My young son has two best friends, and as of last month, one girl who probably would like to think he is her boyfriend. It's so cute...she just loved to kiss him, and she has Angie Jolie's lips too! So very the cute to see the first crush :-D.

I guess this is one of the most wonderful things about being a parent - we get to relive all the “firsts” in our lives through our children. I guess as parents we hope that we can share our experience with our children so they won’t make the same mistakes we did…but at the same time you’d want them to experience their on life and make their own mistakes so that they can learn from them, and Insya-Allah become a better person for it.

I remember my first best friends – Rosmawati and Normalinda. I never went to kindergarten, and just went into Standard 1 (primary 1 as they call it now)…but my mom was my class teacher so easy la for me to transition, and you can guess who thought she was the boss in the class ;-P. I do remember that I was a brat in school – I always did well, and I was one of those overachiever kids where I had always to get the best grades, be the class monitor, etc. So, with these two girls Normalinda was sweet and gentle and would just follow what I say…so of course I adored her. Rosmawati was such a nice person, but she was my assistant monitor and smart as hell too, so may be for “self preservation ;-)” I had a love-hate relationship - mind you it was one way - with her as she was still oblivious (that's how innocent she was) to my conniving plans…and I must say you can already see the traces of my bitchiness at that early age. Poor girl, I am sure at times she didn’t know what hit her!

Through the years, I moved around a lot and had many “best friends” along the way…the ones that stick in my mind are Zurilawati, Ardena, Shanti, Juanita, Sharina…etc. But the one that will always be in my heart, and I will always regret losing touch with is Mizmun. She was such an influence in my life, and I think I was a real bitch for pushing her away and letting the friendship die. It was a weird time for me…and I shall continue to live with the “what ifs”, but I have to make peace with what I did. This mistake has made me appreciate all my relationships and friendships I have now…and I am always reminded by my dear husband that I don’t have many friends…wic is true, but I know these few friends that I have now will be with me through thick and thin, and I will work my damndest to not kill these relationships…Insya-Allah.

So..

..to Izz…enjoy your time Mohd. Rayyan and Ahmad Sharif, and all the many new relationships you will have! I can’t wait to see you have your first crush, first love, and other firsts, and I will be there for you when you have your first “losts” too. Although I hate to see my baby grow up, but I love seeing you grow up into this little person, and Insya-Allah I hope I haven't really screwed you up too much!

Especially to DH, Ketchupmissy, Amai, SAK, Chocfudge, and the few others that I consider close to me…I LOVE you guys, and you have been such wonderful additions in my life.

To Miz…Happy Birthday and I hope you will have a wonderful year and life ahead. I’ll ways remember you, and miss our friendship.

...and to new friends and relationships I am making as I continue down this road...I am really looking forward to connecting with you...

Here’s to best friends…

Self Preservation

Why are we so concerned with self preservation? I am not talking about life in general, but more within the context of working culture. I am sure those of you who work in the corporate world (however you like to define corporate) have come across individuals who are so self absorbed about achieving the highest rating or the next promotion that they forget to be a decent human being!

The fact that sometimes we have our head so far up our own ass (as my dear Ketchupmissy says) that we can't see the light anymore. Don't get me wrong I am one of the most money, and status (a little) -driven person you can meet...I am one those who if you ask love or money would actually have to pause for a loooong time to consider, and chances are money will have the upper hand. If not immediate money, but at least the potential of making money and fortune later on. So, I know the importance of climbing the ladder, and pushing ahead...but seriously, at the expense of others or the relationships you have? Seriously?

I guess I have always been reminded, and now reminding myself, that our time in this world is temporary and we won't be bringing money, title, etc. to our graves. But my philosophy is that during our time in this world...those things matter, and are important and helpful. But you don't have to be a queen bitch (bastard) along the way, to be able achieve those things...you know what I mean?! Think about all the knowledge and relationship you would have lost if you continue on this self destructive (the way I see it) path...as my friend would say...is this strategy sustainable? If it is, I am guessing it is very lonely at the top...and you will constantly looking behind your back...

A New Beginning

This is the 3rd day of the new year...1428. If you are a Muslim that is...

This is really my first attempt at "writing" in a blog. I have been blogging for a few years, but I don't really know if you would consider what I did as blogging. Is there a real definition of blogging? I am sure there is...there's always gonna be a definition. May be that's the way we try to define ourselves, and what we do. May be to give ourselves an identity? May be...

Anyway, I have always put up my life to be seen and shared over the net. I suppose this is a way for me to share myself with the people that I consider as my friends. In life, people always move on in ways they never realize that they would...and the net allows the bond to continue as opposed to dying a natural death. So, if you know me, you probably would have seen pictures of my life...wic consists of the 3 boys in my life...1 husband+2 sons.

I guess what you wouldn't have known is who I really am . I am still trying to figure that out. I have always wrapped my identity around what I surround my life with...so now I guess I am a wife, lover, mother, daughter...etc. But does it stop there or does it begin there?

Well...here's hopin' for a great and blessed year ahead! May all our prayers be heard and be fulfilled.