Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Heroes to Suspects, and plain Psychos?




What's dominating the newspaper lately, or at least what catches my eyes? Yin's rescue and today the shootings in Virginia Tech. My BIL went there I think, so I guess that's why I have a better connection as compared to when the shooting took place in Columbine.

Those who don't know about Yin...he's this 5 yr old kid who went missing when his family was shopping in Sogo at the end of last month. So, last Sunday a Myanmar Rohingya couple handed him over to the police saying that they didn't know that there was only the largest manhunt/search & rescue happening because they have no TV, etc. The IGP was at hand to receive the child, and lauded the couple for taking care of the child, and said the case was closed! Huge PR opportunity!

The next day? The couple is remanded for suspecting of kidnapping. Sekarang banyak la cerita that they abducted the child and forced him into begging with the couple's other children. Today Yin's father made a statement that he still harbors no ill-feeling towards the couple, and didn't instigate the investigation (he actually made a public comment earlier that he will forgive whoever took his kid and will not press charges if Yin was returned safely). So, today he says he still forgives the couple, but now it is up to the police...it's in their hands. Whatever ok...to me it's like now "I have a little caveat at the end of my forgiveness", and whatever happens to the couple he will still look like the good person who is all forgiving.

The question I would ask is how did the kid in the first place walked out of Sogo on his own...the earlier story was that the dad was trying clothes and Yin was waiting outside. It seems that Yin disappearing is nothing new because he has a tendency to do that, his grandparents lost him before. So you know your kid loves to wander off...so you would actually leave him on his own? I tried so hard to not to pass judgement in the earlier days because I empathised with the parents, but to me as a Mom, I just had that nagging feeling that something was not right, and wanted to yell "what the fuck were you thinking?!" But after seeing what's happened now that the child has been found...subtly the dad (he's the only one pictured in the media) implying how irresponsible the Myanmar couple was for not returning the kid earlier and to let him stay in such a dilapidated and unhygienic environment. Who is the irresponsible one really?

What about the couple? You see their home...kesian giler ok! Some people may not be aware of the Rohingyas...they are here under amnesty because they have been persecuted in their homeland - they have no rights whatsoever. Many have fled to Bangladesh, Malaysia, etc. but their lives are still not easy. Here, they can't really get jobs, their children can't go to school so they live their lives in a state of limbo - not really belonging anywhere. I can't comment much because I really don't know enough, but I am trying to contextualise this couple lives and their environment. So when they found Yin, they take him home to be with them and their 5 other kids! They don't have enough money, yet they would still buy food and clothes for kid. Why? Because now they have an extra hand to go out begging! Really? Seriously?!

What the couple did was not right, but perhaps they saw it as an opportunity - either for a reward or that extra hand la, but whatever the reason may be, it is possible they were just hoping for something to improve their lives. It is possible that they really did care of Yin (neighbors did say they always see Yin playing happily with the other kids especially the youngest girl - may be to some level she reminds him of his own younger sibling), and the fact that they may have used Yin for begging is because that's how they live their life! The children can't go to school, and to make ends meet they needed to resort to begging. It's not malicious, but it's their way of life. Yin seemed to not care at all about what was happening...he's just a happy kid (wic I also wonder if he doesn't have any sort of developmental problems - the dad mentioned that he is a slow learner..whatever that means, but that's a whole other issue.) What people do sometimes is a by product of their environment...their values are shaped by their environment. This couple came here as immigrants with very little chance of making a better life for themselves. They know nothing better...this is their reality.

But I am not going to get into a psychological debate, and all about the nature vs. nurture...I am just thinking out loud. Trying to make sense of what I am reading. I feel bad for the Rohingya couple. Imagine if they really didn't do anything wrong, their lives are just going from bad to worse because on top of tyring to make ends meet, they will now have people judging them (even if they are exonerated). And Yin...goes back to his parents, and the public will remember them as the unfortunate couple who finally got their child back - it's a happy ending. We like happy endings because it gives us hope, as opposed to thinking about what'll happen to the Rohingya couple. Let's just hope Yin doesn't wander off anymore after this, InsyaAllah.

And today...you read about another senseless killings in the US. The suspect is supposed to be a South Korean student who has issues with rich kids. Again, you need to think what was happening around him to make him feel/think that way...what drove him to the edge? It could also be that he's plain psycho, but really when you read about these people there is always some torment and breaking point that happened in their early days. So, we'll probably learn more about this from Discovery Channel or some movie...you so know Hollywood will somehow take this to the movies. I wonder how they would depict the Asian kid, because Asians are not known to be Psychos or serial killers...it's usually Caucasian male. So, we'll see how their analysis and portrayal will be like.

Sigh...anyway life goes on, and the wonderful thing about being human is that we'll soon forget how we felt at this point in time. Time will heal...and we move on to next news-worthy topic.

Pictures from news.bbc.co.uk. / A write-up on the plight of Rohingya.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

May be there's still hope

Psycho-mom defined? Looks pretty optimistic :-)

DisorderRating
Paranoid Disorder:Low
Schizoid Disorder:Low
Schizotypal Disorder:Low
Antisocial Disorder:Low
Borderline Disorder:Low
Histrionic Disorder:Moderate
Narcissistic Disorder:Low
Avoidant Disorder:Low
Dependent Disorder:Low
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:Low

-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --
-- Personality Disorders --

Confessions of a Psycho-Mom



I have a guilty conscience to clear...I need to be a much more patient and better parent! My eldest boy is becoming soooo difficult to handle...fussy eater, tunes me out (wic I deserve I think), and is driving me up the wall, and he IS 5!!!

I know I need to be more patient and find better ways of reaching out to him as opposed to always picking on him and yelling at him...but my patience is 0 to none!

In my prayers I do ask God to make me more patient and a better mom, and to have the strength and capability to guide my children well. I just don't want to drive them away. When I get into my psycho-mom mode, it's almost like an out-of-body experience and I hate seeing what I am doing. And when I realize what I am doing I would stop, and I think my kid gets so confused seeing his mom all weird-out!

But sometimes it's just so hard to stop myself...I dunno as I am getting older I becoming a person that I don't recognize anymore...I am so anal, and nit picky, and I hate myself for being this way.

I need to learn how to stop before I become someone I don't know or even like anymore. What does this say of me as a mom, and a Muslim? I so hope that self realization is the path of becoming a better person, if not I am so fucked! And worse my kids will be so screwed!

Monday, April 2, 2007

I am like an onion...


...or so I'd like to think. I have so many layers to me...macam la aku ni deep sangat kan? Bottom line I like money and waiting my time to be a tai-tai and be able to buy all the TODS I want...sigh...

Anyways, because si cibai pompuan suka ketchup tu...I have to peel my layers. So, since I need to be productive at work (mampus aku kalu org bank tau ni)...I shall spend the next couple of minutes, or rest of the day if need be, to find the 6 things that makes me "stand-out" from the regular janes/joes...

But before I begin here is the ruling - "People who are tagged should write a blog post of 6 weird things about them as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says ‘you are tagged’ in their comments and tell them to read your blog."

So here goes...my wall of weird..

1. I've been told I am surrounded by the "Male Yang" which explains a lot of my behaviors especially when it comes to sex. Forget the candle light romantic crap...that don't do much for me...like the guys I just want to get it on so that I can then sleep/wac tv/read my book...you can also not bother with the spooning/cuddling after sex...you're just crowding my space...so how's this for an Intro?

2. I have debates with myself...some people just talk to themselves, but I literally have conversations with myself...multiple conversations, with answers, rationale, what-may-have you...there are multiple people with their own screwed up perspectives living in my head.

3. Like Ms. Ketchup, I am fascinated by shit. So, ya I oso do that shit-checking...I do that for my kids, so I should do that for myself too la kan? But I am oso fascinated with nose-shit...boogers. Don't you just love picking your nose...come on I know you doo...so don't become hoity-toity with me...remember as a kid we would dig, dig, get a really loong and squishy one and gentil into a ball and lekat somewhere...HAHAHAHA...just love those moments!

4. I like to push people's buttons...even my kids. If they don't do what I want them to do (like feeding times) I will have a stand-off with them till they cry, and it will be a mind-game as to who will be left standing...Pyscho mom from hell...but then the nice mom will come out and pacify the kids...ala Jessica/Nikki?!

5. Checking out women+men...I like them both. I always do the once over, and for both gender, my focus will always be on the asses...(unless their racks and packets look too good to miss out) so going up escalators you know where my eyes will be focused...and I love getting into a debate with hubby about folks we are checking out.

6. Mind masturbation...I so love to have discussions, most of the time with myself, about things. I will try to pick at whatever the topic is, to death or till I get a freaking migraine. Like I said layers to be pealed. If I have company that'll do, but if not I can play all by myself...

So, have I said enough? Now the rest of you folks need to come down with me...those of yous who have a blog you will need to share 6 weird things about you on your blog...the rest can do it on my space or wherever you want to do it!

Maria
Sue
Lara
Rajes (I know you read so now you better write)
Fara
Amy (now you've got a good excuse to start/share your blog with us)

Start cracking...you ain't leaving me alone and exposed!

What I have on my nightstand...



I think most folks have started reading this!! I am enjoying every single page because I feel like the writer is talking about the stuff that my friends and I always talk about, and what is actually going through my mind!! I am laughing so much, and most of time I am thinking...spot on!!

She talks about the dichotomy of being Muslims which I so can relate to coz I've always wondered about myself...a Malay, Muslim, Woman, Mother...who wears a Hijab, and for those who know me will say I so don't fit the bill of the typical hijab clad muslim malay woman...but from the book you will see no one is really what they appear to be...so many layers we have. Oooohhh....mind masturbation...

Side note...I've been tagged so now I have to sit and think of 6 weird things about me...so wac out I'll be tagging some yous out there...I am not going down alone!!! We need to peel our layers (I have Dr Phil in my head and hearing him say that...try it!).