What's My Direction?

I just had my personal Feng Shui "advisor" did my calculations. Generally I am facing all my good directions. That is until I get my own compass to really make sure my directions are right!

Now the question is do I really believe in all this? Some also may argue that this is very against the whole concept of qada'+qadar and it is un-Islamic. Actually, in Islam there are elements of feng shui to some extend. Of course it is not related to the sun and moon, etc. like conventional feng shui. I sat in a talk by an "Islam-based" motivator speaker, who spoke to us about directions, and colors, that are good or will help us etc. At the end of the day, to me, all these things are just to be seen as enhancers.

You never know what can influence your aura, and inner energy. If you take prayers - besides connecting with Allah, remembering Him, giving yourself to Him, prayers serve as way to get inner peace. So, I do believe things, both tangible and intangible, affects your innerself. Therefore, things like feng shui, etc. are just ways for you to balance your environment. It is no way should be in place of your prayers, and for you to leave your fate fully on the directions of the moons, flying stars, etc.

Everything is in moderation. It goes back to how you balance your beliefs, and these "extra" enhancers. I may be facing directions that will enhance my wealth, health, growth or love, and may pray for all the good things to happen...But if it doesn't happen, then I know I've tried my best, but Allah has bigger plans that I have yet to be clued in. So, this is where my faith comes in, and I accept what is meant for me. Nothing more, nothing less.

Gen Z?!

The new generation of Malaysians. This video was done by my baby SIL and her classmates. I really can't imagine what the world will be like when Izz and Rayhan are grown up. Even now, I see how my SIL and her peers are soo different in their thinking, and how the world of technology has created such an influence and redefined our culture.

It is also interesting how people have so moved on to using "artificial" way of demonstrating creativity...but that in itself is a form of creativity isn't it? Just amazing how far we've all come, and large the generation gap will continue to become.

Vegging Out the Holidays

I've been holiday since Friday afternoon. We are having one of our last few long public holidays for 2007. After this there will be blackout of public holidays till May coz most of the day offs will fall on a Saturday, and we don't work on Saturdays. What also sucks is that these Saturday public holidays will not be captured in our annual leave nor will we get replacement leave. But I guess I shouln't complain coz I do get 26 days a year of annual leave which is much higher than normal, and if we include more replacement leaves there will be no way for me to use up all the leave.

So what do we do during these days? Pretty much vegging out at home in front of the TV especially when Izz has been sick for the last couple of days. If not vegging in front of the TV, we are out at the shopping malls spending money. Actually when we think about it there really isn't much outdoor stuff we can do in KL. There are the parks we can visit I suppose, but only if you want to weather the weather. Like when we went to the birdpark...I have never walked so much, and because of the trees the humidity was just crazy...I was completely drenched! There is no beach in KL. The nearest is PD, which pretty much is a sorry excuse for a beach. It probably is much better than before, but still very far from the pristine beaches of the East Coast states.

It takes a lot more effort to do the "natural" stuff here in KL, effort which Ash and I are too damn lazy to take. Plus we are so not the nature people - can't ever imagine taking a hike in the jungle or going to the waterfalls. Which leaves me with the wonderful world of ASTRO where I can take advantage of the Discovery and NGEO...so I guess there will be benefits of vegging out in front of TV. Who says TV is bad for you?!

Family Time

We actually had family time doing the touristy stuff - we went to the bird park and Aquaria! You know since we had kids, our lives have become less of "us/me." I know my Ashran always tries to ask me to focus on "us/me" but it is difficult. I am always feeling guilty or torn. I don't spend enough time with my kids, and when I do have the time they will always come first, Ashran second and me last.

This quality time crap really sucks! By having that concept it has just taken out aspects of "us/me-time". You only have a finite number of hours in a day, days in a week, weeks in year...and next thing you know kids have grown up, people have moved on, and then you'll wonder where you are at!?

I have to say that I am very lucky because I have strong family support where the kids will get attention from their aunties, uncles and grandparents...but it still doesn't alleviate my guilt, and what's worse now I have to compete with these folks for the attention from my kids. Talk about being confused - you are appreciative but you are also resentful!

There has to be a better way of being able to manage this thing of being a mom, career person and wife! I can't always be trying to squeeze some of "me/our-time" when I do stuff with my kids. I guess at the end of the day, you just have to make the hard decisions that you need to split yourselves, and make certain sacrifices because you have chosen this life and this path. I guess I just have to have faith and persevere that there is a bigger plan for me, and my path is not ending here.

How weird is that?

I've been trying to get into my blog for the last couple of days, but somehow it kept on going into this dude's blog! How weird is that?

You'd think with the current technology the internet has become pretty much safe...I mean we've come so far kan? But for whatever reason, the other day when I logged in I kept going into this dude's place. Can you imagine who then managed to access my blog? People could so easily just do whatever they want...I read somewhere that in the UK they have one of the highest internet theft.

I guess with technology, it's a double-edged sword. You think you have managed to create something that's fail-safe until the next second when someone who is smarter figures how to make it "unsafe".

May be the safest way is still queing up in the bank, or just keeping a diary...but how boring is that?

Seriously!?

I just came off a weekend of doing a Grey's Anatomy marathon! I pretty much have been sleeping around 3AM since last Thursday...coz being a Mommy I can't start watching GA until past 10PM. Considering I had a lot to catch up...hence the late nights.

I always wondered why I go into these fanatical mode, where I get completely wrapped up in a TV show! You wonder right - how a show about a bunch of horny doctors can just take over your precious sleep-time (remember 2 babies...I have not know sleep pretty much for the last 5 years!). The last time I was this obsessed was with The X-files.

I guess it is just the escapism that these shows allows me to have. I have to say that I can so relate to the things that Meredith, et. al. talk about and how their lives just unravel through their interactions with the patients and each other. What I find completely amazing, not just with GA but other shows as well, are how the scriptwriters can just write something that fully involves the audience, and completely drag them into this fictional world, and yet it feels so real!

I think at one point in our lives we have lived our lives vicariously through others...and these TV shows gives us an "out" from our own lives, and for at least that hour we see our lives unravel through Christina's bitterness, Meredith's blunders, Izzy's annoying habit of over emotionalizing everything, and George being George. I guess it kind reminds us that we are not alone, and that somewhere out there some people actually do get us.

Well, it probably will be another sleepless night for me tonight...screw work!