Jodoh, oh Jodoh!

My dear Ketchupmissy brought up an interesting thing when she shared her "Moo Theory." This thing has been in my head for awhile now, and guess what, it is now a pet-peeve of mine!

Why is that whenever there is a case with infidelity (both men and women - I don't want to be blamed to be sexist, but to be honest when you look who cheats more often...well tanya diri sendiri la ok). Anyways, back to my point, when suddenly your man wants to take on a 2nd wife...it is so easy for them to cry JODOH??!! When in fact in the past whenever things fail or go well they never give credit to fate, to God's will, etc. I dunno, I just feel that Jodoh has become an easy way out for people to justify their infidelities.

And when they go down this JODOH path, they take this holier than thou or humble attitude of "how can I fight against the will of Allah?"...so easy to say...it pisses the hell out of me! To me it's just downright pure crap!

I do believe in jodoh, but I also believe that Allah tests people in the ways that they don't expect, and He expects you to prove yourself, and fight for what is right, and go to Him for guidance and support. To me if you suddenly have the temptation to stray, you need to evaluate why you need to stray, what you will potentially lose, who you will hurt, and you then decide what your next step will be...if you decide you don't want to do it, you work hard, you pray hard that Allah strengthen your existing relationship. Do whatever it takes...

I hate it that someone who never thinks of Allah in the past, but when it comes to taking the 2nd-4th wives, suddenly they remember about Allah and religion. I can just see it when DK was talking about his marriage to Siti...nak muntah darah aku! But this tirade is not against him personally, but it is against all those cheating husbands religious or not!

At the end of the day, God does not dictate what you do...that's why He gave us a brain to think what is right, and what is not - so don't we owe it to Him to use it? Duh!

We need to take accountability for our actions, and not just keep passing the buck, and making religion the scapegoat for our own weaknesses and faults.

Best Friends

My young son has two best friends, and as of last month, one girl who probably would like to think he is her boyfriend. It's so cute...she just loved to kiss him, and she has Angie Jolie's lips too! So very the cute to see the first crush :-D.

I guess this is one of the most wonderful things about being a parent - we get to relive all the “firsts” in our lives through our children. I guess as parents we hope that we can share our experience with our children so they won’t make the same mistakes we did…but at the same time you’d want them to experience their on life and make their own mistakes so that they can learn from them, and Insya-Allah become a better person for it.

I remember my first best friends – Rosmawati and Normalinda. I never went to kindergarten, and just went into Standard 1 (primary 1 as they call it now)…but my mom was my class teacher so easy la for me to transition, and you can guess who thought she was the boss in the class ;-P. I do remember that I was a brat in school – I always did well, and I was one of those overachiever kids where I had always to get the best grades, be the class monitor, etc. So, with these two girls Normalinda was sweet and gentle and would just follow what I say…so of course I adored her. Rosmawati was such a nice person, but she was my assistant monitor and smart as hell too, so may be for “self preservation ;-)” I had a love-hate relationship - mind you it was one way - with her as she was still oblivious (that's how innocent she was) to my conniving plans…and I must say you can already see the traces of my bitchiness at that early age. Poor girl, I am sure at times she didn’t know what hit her!

Through the years, I moved around a lot and had many “best friends” along the way…the ones that stick in my mind are Zurilawati, Ardena, Shanti, Juanita, Sharina…etc. But the one that will always be in my heart, and I will always regret losing touch with is Mizmun. She was such an influence in my life, and I think I was a real bitch for pushing her away and letting the friendship die. It was a weird time for me…and I shall continue to live with the “what ifs”, but I have to make peace with what I did. This mistake has made me appreciate all my relationships and friendships I have now…and I am always reminded by my dear husband that I don’t have many friends…wic is true, but I know these few friends that I have now will be with me through thick and thin, and I will work my damndest to not kill these relationships…Insya-Allah.

So..

..to Izz…enjoy your time Mohd. Rayyan and Ahmad Sharif, and all the many new relationships you will have! I can’t wait to see you have your first crush, first love, and other firsts, and I will be there for you when you have your first “losts” too. Although I hate to see my baby grow up, but I love seeing you grow up into this little person, and Insya-Allah I hope I haven't really screwed you up too much!

Especially to DH, Ketchupmissy, Amai, SAK, Chocfudge, and the few others that I consider close to me…I LOVE you guys, and you have been such wonderful additions in my life.

To Miz…Happy Birthday and I hope you will have a wonderful year and life ahead. I’ll ways remember you, and miss our friendship.

...and to new friends and relationships I am making as I continue down this road...I am really looking forward to connecting with you...

Here’s to best friends…

Self Preservation

Why are we so concerned with self preservation? I am not talking about life in general, but more within the context of working culture. I am sure those of you who work in the corporate world (however you like to define corporate) have come across individuals who are so self absorbed about achieving the highest rating or the next promotion that they forget to be a decent human being!

The fact that sometimes we have our head so far up our own ass (as my dear Ketchupmissy says) that we can't see the light anymore. Don't get me wrong I am one of the most money, and status (a little) -driven person you can meet...I am one those who if you ask love or money would actually have to pause for a loooong time to consider, and chances are money will have the upper hand. If not immediate money, but at least the potential of making money and fortune later on. So, I know the importance of climbing the ladder, and pushing ahead...but seriously, at the expense of others or the relationships you have? Seriously?

I guess I have always been reminded, and now reminding myself, that our time in this world is temporary and we won't be bringing money, title, etc. to our graves. But my philosophy is that during our time in this world...those things matter, and are important and helpful. But you don't have to be a queen bitch (bastard) along the way, to be able achieve those things...you know what I mean?! Think about all the knowledge and relationship you would have lost if you continue on this self destructive (the way I see it) path...as my friend would say...is this strategy sustainable? If it is, I am guessing it is very lonely at the top...and you will constantly looking behind your back...

A New Beginning

This is the 3rd day of the new year...1428. If you are a Muslim that is...

This is really my first attempt at "writing" in a blog. I have been blogging for a few years, but I don't really know if you would consider what I did as blogging. Is there a real definition of blogging? I am sure there is...there's always gonna be a definition. May be that's the way we try to define ourselves, and what we do. May be to give ourselves an identity? May be...

Anyway, I have always put up my life to be seen and shared over the net. I suppose this is a way for me to share myself with the people that I consider as my friends. In life, people always move on in ways they never realize that they would...and the net allows the bond to continue as opposed to dying a natural death. So, if you know me, you probably would have seen pictures of my life...wic consists of the 3 boys in my life...1 husband+2 sons.

I guess what you wouldn't have known is who I really am . I am still trying to figure that out. I have always wrapped my identity around what I surround my life with...so now I guess I am a wife, lover, mother, daughter...etc. But does it stop there or does it begin there?

Well...here's hopin' for a great and blessed year ahead! May all our prayers be heard and be fulfilled.