We actually had family time doing the touristy stuff - we went to the bird park and Aquaria! You know since we had kids, our lives have become less of "us/me." I know my Ashran always tries to ask me to focus on "us/me" but it is difficult. I am always feeling guilty or torn. I don't spend enough time with my kids, and when I do have the time they will always come first, Ashran second and me last.
This quality time crap really sucks! By having that concept it has just taken out aspects of "us/me-time". You only have a finite number of hours in a day, days in a week, weeks in year...and next thing you know kids have grown up, people have moved on, and then you'll wonder where you are at!?
I have to say that I am very lucky because I have strong family support where the kids will get attention from their aunties, uncles and grandparents...but it still doesn't alleviate my guilt, and what's worse now I have to compete with these folks for the attention from my kids. Talk about being confused - you are appreciative but you are also resentful!
There has to be a better way of being able to manage this thing of being a mom, career person and wife! I can't always be trying to squeeze some of "me/our-time" when I do stuff with my kids. I guess at the end of the day, you just have to make the hard decisions that you need to split yourselves, and make certain sacrifices because you have chosen this life and this path. I guess I just have to have faith and persevere that there is a bigger plan for me, and my path is not ending here.
4 comments:
May not have my own family yet, but I hear you, girl. It's all about sacrifice really. At this stage or even age, you have to consider so many things and people before making any decision.
But there is so much beauty and barakah in being a wife and a mother. And you have to believe that every single sacrifice you do for your kids and spouse, you will be so so rewarded. And work-wise, do the best as you can as well because really, ambition is a part of feminity :D
I know what you mean babe! I read about the pahala of "sacrifice" as long as you don't ungkit la...so pretty much all my pahala has gone down the drain :P
I am also very hard on Ashran because I feel he needs to also play a critical role. We both chose this life and chose to have the kids (whom we just adore), so no matter how tired we both are when we come home, we still need to do good by the kids and ensure they have our time too!
InsyaAllah when your family comes, you will have better balance in your life so you can devote yourself.
OMG! u blog now. yeay!
both dh and i hv ample 'me/alone' time on our own (me with books and sims 2, him with PS) but we hardly spend time on 'us', though. when we spend it on 'us' it also means spending it with mira in tow.
but now come to think of it, we do hv 'us' time -- after mira's asleep that is. i guess, u dont really hv to make it a point to go out to enjoy each other's company, yes? tengok tv or dvd dua2an kat rumah smooching pun cukup for us. LOL!
HAHAHA! Betul tu! But my DH kadang-kadang feels that we need to go out for "real" us-time. We actually planned to go to Penang, and bot tix and all. But Rayhan got sick so burn-lah.
We ended going to Penang during Hari Wilayah with kids in tow, but still I find such fulfillment with the "our" time, and like you said the alone time comes when kids are asleep ;-P
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