I have a guilty conscience to clear...I need to be a much more patient and better parent! My eldest boy is becoming soooo difficult to handle...fussy eater, tunes me out (wic I deserve I think), and is driving me up the wall, and he IS 5!!!
I know I need to be more patient and find better ways of reaching out to him as opposed to always picking on him and yelling at him...but my patience is 0 to none!
In my prayers I do ask God to make me more patient and a better mom, and to have the strength and capability to guide my children well. I just don't want to drive them away. When I get into my psycho-mom mode, it's almost like an out-of-body experience and I hate seeing what I am doing. And when I realize what I am doing I would stop, and I think my kid gets so confused seeing his mom all weird-out!
But sometimes it's just so hard to stop myself...I dunno as I am getting older I becoming a person that I don't recognize anymore...I am so anal, and nit picky, and I hate myself for being this way.
I need to learn how to stop before I become someone I don't know or even like anymore. What does this say of me as a mom, and a Muslim? I so hope that self realization is the path of becoming a better person, if not I am so fucked! And worse my kids will be so screwed!
6 comments:
Eh woman..don't scare us like that lah. I don't think you're that psycho..yet, :). It must have been tough for you juggling between career and your two active boys. Hope things turn out for the better.
amai
hey nina,
i know what you're talking about. i can get in that mode sometimes with my son and he's only 3. but luckily, i realize it soon enough and i try not to be that psycho mom. amin has more patience than me..and i try to emulate his composure..and really try to control my anger by turning the instense situation into a playful one..(try making him laugh) i find it quite worth a try..and as a result, my mood would totally change from angry to less tensed..
Amai & fara
Thanks for vote of confidence and suggestions! I think its easier that for hubbies to be the calm one because they only have two roles - work and the "fun" parent! Mommies have more things to carry - house management, children being sick, work, maid management, etc. If anything is wrong with the kids we get the calls first, and we have to handle it and address it while we are rushing off to a meeting!!
Ya its challenging...and I need to really take deep breaths and channel that negative energy into a positive one...but also I am consciously try to ease off my kid so that I don't pressure him or myself.
Thanks for your support girls!
you know what you need? wendy's 99cents chillis, burger with a side of fries :) mcm the ones we used to have kat umich... heaven!!
listen, you are NOT a psycho mom. everyone has their good and bad moments and just becoz youre handed a few curveballs right now, doesn't mean youre out of the ballgame.
am not a mommy and dunno when i'll be one but you know i've got tons of anak2 sedara. kids will be kids and each has their own personality. no matter how hard you try to 'right' them... some will follow, some will just look the other way. and if youre lucky, some will even come to hate you.
calm the fuck down and everything will be alrite.
youre a great person, your 'ducks' will be in row... :)
YES!!! Those were the days...we were so poor but it was yummy chilli!!
How far we've come babe! You'll be a mom tomorrow if Farid has his way :-P You'll be a cool mom, I know!
Oh well..look at it this way--you're aware of what you're doing to your sons and you're taking steps to make things better for their sakes. My favorite reruns here is "everybody loves raymond". That sitcom is funny as hell, and one moral story we learn is that there are many ways that parents can screw up their kids--when you see what happened to both Robert and Raymond--you'll thank God many times because no matter what, your kids(insya-Allah) won't turned out to be like them. It's also a funny take on married life, :).
-amai-
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